27 Oct 2007

I live in a village called Axworth.

Its beautiful, and although it buzzes with tourism it maintains a certain amount of calm. It´s certainly a charming place. I live in a lovely cottage of whitewashed stone which helps protect from the elements. I overlook the sea from the kitchen and have balcony doors which open out onto a small terrace - big enough to entertain, but small enough to be cosy. This often inspires me when I´m cooking. The den also overlook the sea, as does our bedroom. the guest room looks onto the cobbled streets below.

I love this old cottage. It embarrasses me that it was bought for me, but at least I can call it home. The only problem is the noise. I see Mr and Mrs Sanderson looking askew at times and I'm sure they've heard the furore but are too polite to say anything. Thats how it works around here. It is a fishing village after all. The couple on the other side only stay here at weekends and holidays. They live in the city the rest of the time, in some busy overworked career. Sometimes I envy their seemingly placid and dull lives...

The village is based around a church, but of course I don´t attend. My neighbours don´t either which surprises me in the case of the Sandersons. We have lots of local shops and markets, and have managed to stay away from souvenir shops. Our charm is our food. Once I´d visited here, i knew i had to live here. It was a dream come true.

Well, the summer is just about to arrive and of course, this means longer hours, more socialising and more opportunities for Max to lose control. No matter. We´ll see what the summer brings.

24 Oct 2007


Max is a high flying PR consultant. His job requires networking and drinking with clients so his problem often goes unnoticed until its too late. I don´t get to hear it all. What has Max been up to now?

23 Oct 2007

How do i move forward?

I am feeling nervous. I been running my small catering business for some time. Now its time to get moving further forward. I currently provide catering for parties in the village and the city, lunches in the city (delivered by mike, a local man of 65 who is gruff but good hearted and soon to be widowed) How would I research the expansion?Who else could my clients be in a small seaside village? How do I move forward?

Don't let me stagnate before i've even come to life...

21 Oct 2007

I have a home

I live in a small fishing hamlet in the north of england. tell me...

what do you like most/least about fishing villages?

20 Oct 2007

some changes...

In reaction to certain posts etc...the following changes have come about:

1. I am indeed a caterer, but instead of deserts I specialise in organic foods.

2. I do not know any siblings...this is going to happen in the book. I will find out that I have some.

3. Max´s mother is no longer perfect. She is returning to the original idea of having a drink problem herself.

Ruby is now rich...very rich. Not that Max is aware, as Lily is determined to create her own life and be independant.

In what scenario would Ruby end up telling me that I have siblings? Why have they been secret? What happens next?

18 Oct 2007

my brother and sister

My brother Sebastian is about to turn 50 and my sister Claudia is 45. I was an unexpected late child, and neither of us know anything about our parentage except that we each have a different father. We are very mismatched due to the generation gap, and also there is some jealousy involved on all sides. Here is another question:

Am I close to either or both siblings?

I have a job!

I am now a cook. I am a specialist dessert supplier working from home.
"M. said...

I could see Lily as more of a personal cook, who caters to smaller parties and events. Her childhood would alienate her from most social interactions, so I easily imagine a preference to work alone."

Anyone got any favourite recipes for me or for me to search? Anyone know any specific equipment I would need?

16 Oct 2007

A suggestion for rebecca's problem

Anonymous said...

I think that Rebecca is having liver failure. She donated part of her liver to her son, because of his ongoing alcoholism. She is having trouble finding a match

15 October 2007 20:20

Do you think this would work?

Do I smoke?

I would like to know. Please answer here.

title suggestions

All a bit of fun but according to Lulu Titlescorer the title chastise and compromise has a 55.4% chance of being a bestselling title!

any other suggestion based on what you know about me?

In response to Beckoir

Yes, I know my mother was a prostitute. I often witnessed her with various “uncles”. She’s not the most discreet, yet one of the biggest snobs I’ve ever met. She’s pretentious and selfish, and not the most endearing. But she is fun and people love her vivacity. I don’t know who my father is, but I assume that I am the result of one of the unions my mother enjoyed.

The Breezyweek interview

Breezyweek: Where is she? When is she? Is she rich or poor?

Lily: I live in London in 2007. I have enough money to live and treat myself.

Breezyweek: Does she go by her own surname or her partner's?

Lily: My name is Lily Alders. My partner is Max Davies. Even if I married I would keep my own name.

Breezyweek: What nationality is she? What race? What age?

Lily: My mother is English, but her surname is Dutch in origin. My mother is very secretive about her past and I know nothing about my family, including my father, outside of my relationship with my mother and my siblings.

Breezyweek: Does she work? At what? Is she a cook-from-the-start homemaker or a working career woman?

Lily: My career is currently other. More suggestions are required. But I have decided that I work from home. PLEASE VOTE IN THE POLL.

Breezyweek: Do they have children? Does she have children separately from this partner?

Lily: I have no children.

Breezyweek: When you say alcoholic are you talking wall-falling pink-elephant-seeing down-and-out or someone depressed and selfish maintaining a mean little habit?

Lily: alcoholic meaning will self destruct and ruin work, relationships, health…with little or no control.

Breezyweek: Does she have a drink problem herself? Does she drink at all? Does she smoke?

Lily: I do drink, and will get drunk, but no drink problem. Do I smoke? YOU DECIDE

14 Oct 2007

We are now named

I am now called Vivelle Alders (Lily). My mother Ruby is 74, an ex high class prostitute, and my siblings Claudia and Sebastian are somewhat older than me. My boyfriend is Max Davies (thanks poll people!) and he is alcoholic. This stems from the death of a playmate at a young age, for which Max feels guilty. His mother Rebecca is a perfect mother, except for her hidden problem...which Max also feels guilty about.

Next question: What is Rebecca´s hidden problem?
Next poll: What is Lily´s profession?

13 Oct 2007

My mother...

My mother is called Ruby, and is now based upon the character suggestion for Mrs Johnson from the nano forum; “an elderly woman that used to be a high-class whore in her youth.” She is a strong, sexual and manipulative woman who has tried to control me her whole life. I have run away from her and feel liberated. I do not feel guilty about this; its a futile emotion.

With thanks to Gerhi

Lily can be a name on its own, but my actual name is now Vivelle, thanks to the nano forum.

I do not know my father. The name Lily was given to me by my mother. I call myself Vivelle when I am being provocative, when I want to escape from myself for a little while, or when I first meet people, to be different. I am called Vivelle by my mother when she is being manipulative and by Max when he is scared.

I do need a surname. What can my surname be?

12 Oct 2007

Kylia´s interview

Kylia: Tell me, why does Max drink? What is he running from? What is he afraid of?

Lily: Max drinks because it is his coping mechanism. He has seen it in his family. It has been his life for a long time, undetected. He is the original party king. He equates this with friendship. Max drinks even when he doesn’t want to. He is intelligent, and so this causes him even more distress. He is trapped in a cycle. He is running away from himself. He is afraid of himself, and of people not liking him the way that he doesnt like himself. Sometimes he is running away from me.

Kylia: Tell me what makes Lily so self-sacrificing, so willing to be there for someone who is never there for her?

Lily: I am not self sacrificing. I have an alcoholic mother (Ann) , sister (???) and brother (Ben) so I guess I´m less sensitive to the condition. I am intelligent, and understand Max.

Max is gentle, loving and kind. He is not thoughtful, or perhaps I could say too thoughtful! He thinks about stuff too much then almost believes his thoughts have come true, whilst the rest of the world is oblivious.

Max is the nicest person I’ve ever met and it’s his inherent need to do good that usually causes the hurt; his own lack of self worth, and sense of disappointing others (which he then does and the spiral continues).

Kylia: Tell me why they love each other, how they love each other?

Lily: We love each other because we understand each other. We do so very deeply and passionately. This means huge rows, great sex, lots of laughter and lots of noise. Our relationship has huge upturns and downturns which they both require. It’s a kind of twisted stability; out of order comes chaos...

Kylia: Does Lily cry at night when Max doesn't show up? Where does Max go when he wants to get away?

Lily: I cry, or I read book, or listen to Beethoven (thanks to anonymous, blog post 1). I paint, or get petulant and go meet friends and have a good time, but in the back of my mind I worry. Sometimes I just sleep. Sometimes it is difficult, sometimes it is not. It is often just a fact.

Max goes to bars where no one knows him. Max loses himself in the internet. Max eats lots. Max surrounds himself with friends. Max goes for long walks. Sometimes, I don’t know where Max goes, and neither does he.

Who am I?

My name is Lily. My boyfriend is alcoholic. His name is Max.

I am not trying to paint a bad picture of my life. I love my life, I love Max and Max loves me. Simple! What I am trying to do is give a glimpse, and get an answer to the question “Who am I?” (You should be familiar with that one, yourself).

Drinking is only a part of Max, and Max is only a part of me. It just happens that both have a lot of impact. What do I mean?

The impact:

1. Max does not turn up for work
2. Max not turn up at home
3. Lily does not eat or sleep
4. Max phones to say "meet me from the bus, I’m on my way" then is not there
5. Max has aggressive hangovers
6. Lily shouts when she doesn’t want to
7. Max feels hatred towards himself
8. Promises are made that can’t be kept, even though they’re meant

But this is not Max, and it’s certainly not Max everyday.

Max does not yet have a surname. He needs a name. Maybe this will help him. Maybe you can help him? Or do you need to know more?

Who am I?

It is always said that you should write about what you know. Yet people also say you shouldn´t air your dirty laundry in public (another cliche I despise). But I have good reason to write this. I am not real.

I am a character. Soon I will be appearing in a book, or the book will appearing through me. There are two reason for this blog.

1. I need to exist
2. I need to grow.

I am an alter ego, research and guidance. I am laced with truth and untruth. I have no idea where I will go, how I will impact the story or life. Yet, this is where it all begins. This is where I take form.

With your help. So tell me, "Who am I?"